Have you ever heard a story that no matter how many times it is told it just keeps getting funnier? Well, picture this. When we go to the far barn there is a pretty steep hill you have to go up, and to this day when I go up this hill I can just imagine this sight. As you know my dad, Homer lives on the farm. He is stubborn as a mule, hard headed as a goat and has a heart of gold. Two years ago he was cutting a field of hay which has some pretty steep spots so I always stay with him to keep a close eye in case something would go wrong. Everything went fine and we came to the house. When we got home 2 friends from down the road came out that usually take walks around the farm. Homer was telling them about a new hunting cabin he had built and told them he would take them over on the 4 wheeler, since it was about a mile to show it to them then they could walk back. Homer has made this trip to the far barn a million times and I have always told him one of these days you are going to flip that 4 wheeler. But you know men,can't tell them anything, especially one that was 81 and set in his ways.
Anyway, I was setting on the porch and never heard Homer top the ridge. Then here came the 4 wheeler, I thought one of the ladies had forgotten something, but when they pulled up my heart dropped. Homer's face was "covered" in blood, Teresa had a big old punkin' knot between her eyes and the other lady didn't have a scracth but was quite shaken up. Homer looked straight at me because he knew the big "I told you a hundred times" speech was coming. But when I saw the big one inch gap in his head I knew there was no time for that. Then he said he didn't need to go to the hospital, while blood was still running down his face, then he wanted to change clothes because he was dirty from working all day!!! Yeah, I came unglued and told him to get his "ass"(excuse my language, but just picture the situation)in the car and we were going to the emergency room. This is one place he hates to go, we have been there 4 times in the past couple of years and he usually has to stay, because he will wait so long to tell me something is wrong and then he's usually pretty sick. All the way there,(40 minute drive, I made in 20)he kept saying don't tell them I wrecked my 4 wheeler. He wasn't worried about his head, he was worried because we have a helmet law in WV and he thought he would get in trouble. I told him he was 81, on his property and no one could do anything to him.
Ok, here's the funny part. we get to the emergency room, the place is packed. Since so many people in WV don't have insurance they go to the emergency room where they can't be refused treatment. So it is based on the severity of the case. Picture this, 81 year old man covered in dirt,grease,mud and blood and 38 year old blonde covered in grass(from weed eating)grease, blood and mud. Yeah, we got some looks, but people were telling us to go first so you know we looked bad. They took us right back and told us the doctor would be right in. The whole time Homer is saying, I'm not staying, I am going back to the house and I am promising I won't let them keep him, I just wanted to make sure he didn't put a hole in his skull. The doc walks in and it was the same guy Homer had seen twice in the past 2 years, once for a gall bladder attack, and once he had stabbed himself in the hand with a knife(whole other story). The doctor said, Now what did you do? And these were Homers words, "Well I had these 2 women on the back of my 4 wheeler...." that's all it took the doctor and nurse both cracked up. The doctor told him haven't you learned by now that women will get you in trouble? And the nurse asked him what he was doing with 2 women in the woods? We had the whole emergency room cracking up. They were all picturing this 81 year old man, with these 2 women riding around in the woods.The doctor asked Homer if he had blacked out, Homer said "No, but I idled for a minute," The doc freaked he thought he said "died" for a minute, I then explained Homer meant he was shook up, but never passed out. Homer, refused xrays so the doc stuck his finger in the hole to see if he could feel any fractures, they cleaned out the hole but it was just skin pulled back, then put in 14 staples. They sent us home and advised Homer that from now on to only have one woman at a time on the 4 wheeler.
The next day, we put up 157 bales of hay and Homer ran all of the equipment.I know how to run everything, but that stubborn mule refuses to hand it over. He's afraid I'll get hurt, imagine that? When Homer finished baling I told him to go to the house, me and a couple of friends picked up the hay and put it in the barn. After everyone left, Homer admitted he was a "little sore". By this time the bruises were showing up and he was pretty much black and blue from head to toe. This was the last field, so I told him to take it easy and I watched him pretty close, 10 days later I took the staples out of his head and told him he was clear to go. And can you believe, he still takes people up that hill on that 4 wheeler! Men, you can't tell them anything.
As for Teresa and the other lady, they just had a few bruises but were OK.And they all set on the porch to this day and laugh about this story. We have even had people come out and ask Homer about it , because they heard it somewhere down the road. Maybe you just had to be there, but if you can just imagine the scene. Teresa said the 4 wheeler flipped backwards and rolled completely over, Homer still says it didn't roll, just reared up and they fell off. He just doesn't want to admit I was right, and "I told him so". Men, you can't tell them anything.
